Everytime I saw tv or magazine or even social media, I was
amazed by people who did great jobs. You know what I mean? They are being
actress or entrepreneur in very young ages. They are very successful. Somehow it
brings some kind of jealousy in my heart, really. We are in the same age, but
they could make money and I couldn’t. And of course, what makes me frustrate
most is because my mother always says as if I were an useless child. Like “You
can see those children?they can make money in your age, they are so mature. Look
at you. You can’t even make something great.” Sometimes it slices my heart into
pieces, but I try to not make it more serious, so I just took my path.
So I came back to my older post, in this blog of course. "I think
success is not being rich or wealthy, but success is about our dreams, when we
want something we catch it, when we get it, we already succeed." Maybe my dreams
now are everyone else dreams, I always want to be her, to be him, rich like
him, pretty like her or anyone else. But no! It is not about me and being my
self, it is not because I want it, I just want to be looked by other people who
see me being success. I just want people to know me because I can do something
great. I want to be appreciated.
Then I think all over again, what is the thing in life you
want the most? I want my parents smile and proud and shout to everyone “Yes,
that’s my daughter” but really, I don’t know how to do it. I study hard to
achieve my best score, it wasn’t enough. But what else can I do? I don’t know
how to make money. Everytime I propose my CV to some companies, it failed and
failed and failed. Everytime I took chances to propose my self in scholarship, I was late. What is wrong with the universe? And what the hell am I thinking?
Is this really important to you? Is it a pride? Think again! I am busy making
dreams, but I forget about move. Failing on something, it is proper, very
normal for everyone. But thinking your self unbeneficial and useless, Cal?
Seriously.. you are worth it. That’s why God created you, because of some
purposes. Now that’s your turn to guess those purposes.
Ok, well it sounds so crazy right now talking to my self.
But seriously, my biggest weakness is lack of confidence. I am so insecure
about my self. Because I am not special...
But now I will make changes. I am not longer that person
anymore. Because I know I am PRETTY, I am SMART, I am CLEVER, I am TALENTED, I have ABILITIES,
I AM PERFECT. So are you...
So from now on, me and you, and anyone else who read this
blog. Don’t blame your self for being weak or ugly or stupid. Because you are
not. BECAUSE YOU ARE CREATED FOR SOME PURPOSES. Maybe you have not find out
yet-like me, but now, just focus on the path in front of you. Follow it, do
your best. And God will leads you to find your purpose. Whatever it is,
whatever when it will happens. Maybe 2 minutes from now, maybe 2 years from
now, 10 years from now. Don’t let your self down for being not good, like I
always feel.
For my dearest readers,
XOXO
