No one can be trusted

It is funny to knowing that life is a game, yes.. it always getting harder and harder everytime you want to quit, but in the end, you just can't, you'd stay. You are struggling with memories and past, and you don't move, even an inch either. Throwing all those stuff away, only makes you suffer.

Life is a cycle of human life, I don't know about it exactly, but life seems like a movie, all genres. Bringing tears, laugh and thrill. How funny it was? Pretty pathetic, maybe?

You are not only dealing with problems, but also people and PEOPLE WHO MAKE PROBLEMS. It doesn't matter you're good, you're bad, you're an asshole, you're an angel, you're still wrong. Even when you lived, and getting born, it was a mistake. All you can do is doing you're best, more and more you want to reach the top, there are always anyone who want you to falling down. But in the end, they just can laugh and make fun of you, talking shit without prove. It is hard, but it is one step ahead to be in the next level of your life. 

I always say it to my self, if a part of me want to quit and give up, "At least, you try your best." But I'm sick of this, I'm tired, I wanna break, I wanna quit at this point, then I will say, "At least you do it."
So.. whatever you do, whether it's good, whether nobody wants to see it, but try it, at least try, because no matter what you do, there is no one who perfectly fits with you, there is no one who completely has the same mind with you. People will judge, people will hate you, whatever they will do, you will strong in your place and build you strongest construction, hoping no one will ruins it and falling it apart because of your strong principle.

Be different, be confident, be brave, change the world. Follow your heart, but don't forget to use your logic, because heart without brain is like a body without blood, empty and die.

Remember this: No can be trusted, NO ONE.

Sometimes

Sometimes I smile
Sometimes I cry
Sometimes I make mistakes
Sometimes I regret
Sometimes I do wrong
Sometimes I choose wrong
Sometimes I lie
Sometimes I pretend
Sometimes I'm sick
Sometimes I stay
Sometimes I survive
Sometimes I leave
There always a reason behind, there always an explanation. But you know what makes it hurt?
Sometimes people do not know
Sometimes people do not understand
Sometimes people judge 
And..
Sometimes all I can do is smile and put all behind
Sometimes I need to be tough
Sometimes I try to do not care
Sometimes I just need.. to be me

Hai hai hehe, bosen abis udah jarang banget cerita di blog ini. Gue lagi melewati masa masa "fragile" di hidup gue, kayak hidup segan mati tak mau hahaha asli bosen banget entah kenapa. Hari hari gue rasanya berjalan lama bangeeet, gue cuma jadi mahasiswa kuliah pulang kuliah pulang yang gak jelas. Kerjaan cuma liat hp, nonton tv, baca buku, tiba tiba nangis sambil nulis hahaha sumpah yang terakhir beneran. Saking bosennya gue nulis hal hal yang ada dipikiran gue aja, eh tiba tiba kebawa emosi sendiri trs netes aja itu air dari mata wkwk sumpah kayak gak sadar abis. Blog ini udah kayak tempat curhatan umum sih HEHE dari gue smp gue cerita hal hal kocak sampe sma gue cerita hal hal konyol, BAYANGKAN?! *lebay* berapa tahun gue mengoperasikan blog ini. Dan dari awal gue janjian bikin blog sama temen temen gue ujung ujungnya yang masih nulis cuma gue HAHA walaupun gue juga jarang sih. Ah sudahlah gue berasa ngomong sendiri, gak ada visitors juga yang liat kan. Intinya sih..... hmmm hidup ini membosankan dude, gila bosen abis. Udah itu aja, BYE!

You

You..
Who look me in the eye and pretend
Who smile with a thousand meanings
Who give me a withered flower
Who ask me why I'm cold

There is no you, there is no me, there is no us
We are searching for possibility, we are trying to be united, but..
We are in our different way, far away

You.. make me smile and cry at the same time
Make me wondering all the time
Why do I stay even I get hurt
Why am I keep loving even I know it will never be the same again
Why can't I find any possibilities with someone else
That's you
And our different destiny.

Obsession

Being obsess is an usual way for everyone to achieve what they need and what they want. Is it an addiction? Yes, it can be, but moreover, if they take their obsession too far. Obsessing someone or something often brings a misery which leads to a disaster. IT IS FACT. I'm not saying that it is not good being obsess with something or someone, I just thought that being obsess is more unbeneficial than being normal for life.

You want getting too much on something, it just makes you suffer, it is obviously true. And I've ever felt that way. Getting prettier, getting smarter, getting richer and other obsession of human life are dreams that we want to take but we make it like "too far". I have felt that way, and I just can regret to my self. I wanted to get all the things in life to be mine and it felt like a crazy obsession. Being the best among people as possible is my crazy obsession, that I already left behind. It was making me suffer and literally pathetic. AND SO STUPID. I was being a fool all this time.

It is good to have a dream, to pursue a dream with your heart. IT IS VERY VERY GOOD, BUT.. make it like your crazy obsession? it only brings you to your dream madness and make you far away from what you want to achieve. JUST BELIEVE, your effort is not gonna lie to you, just trust me. Trying the best as possible and God will leads you to the best way. If it is not for you, it is okay.. it is not the end of the world, just face it, and make it better for your self. Left all those crazy obsession of life and be your self, even you are not good enough, even you are not the best, but at least you try. Because I have been through this, I have obsessed with something that I always dreamed of. But look? life must go on. There are another important stuff to do rather than being obsess with something or someone that is not gonna be yours.

-Calysta Merina

Beyond Imperfection

I don't know that life could be so hard. It does and it is happening. You know when I was yelling at my self and said 'I am not good enough, I am not pretty enough, I am not smart enough like any other of my friends.' I was angry and upset. Why she could be so flawless when I couldn't be like her? Then I look down and seeing other people who can't sleep in comfy bed or eat tasty foods. Then why can't I take all the pleasure that God already gave me? At least I have two hands and two legs when anybody else have to cut off their legs because of accident. I was being pitiable, selfish, and foolish. I never look at a mirror and see that perfections.
I always think as if I were the only person who never feel happy. But look? Everyone can be happy by their flaws. It is okay to have flaws and being disable, because everyone is beautiful in their own ways.
Life may be unfair, life may be cruel for some reasons you see it with your half sight. But.. you have to know that God always fair to you and everybody else in this world. So please do not waste your time by complaining your perfections, because you are already perfect and beautiful. Being beautiful is not always seen in physically, but also mentally and spritually.
Life is beautiful when you are grateful for every second that you passed, you need to remember that. Because people come and go, but memories stay long forever.

Puisi untuk Palestina

Ku kirimkan surat dari Tuhan untukmu

Surat dengan kata indah menyentuh kalbu

Surat yang membuatmu takkan lupa, bahwa kemenangan pasti ada

Jangan bersedih saudara, dia bukan siapa siapa

Dia memang hancurkan semua, tapi tidak semangatmu

Dia merasa berkuasa, merasa punya segalanya

Padahal bumi pun lebih besar darinya

Menangis lah, kalau memang harus menangis

Tapi selipkan sedikit tawa untuk membangun semua rasa

Rasa yang pergi dan kembali seiring dentuman yang kau dengar

Dentuman yang membawa saudaramu pergi ke tempat terindah-Nya

Menyerah bukanlah pilihan, maju adalah tujuan

Berkorban demi keadilan yang harus ditegakkan

Rela mati dalam misi kemanusiaan

Berjuang untuk hari kemenangan

Palestina..  kau tanah suci penuh syuhada

Ku selipkan kebebasanmu dalam setiap doa

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